My wife, Sheryl, is the festive type. She wanted some accent lights for our patio. I didn't want them. So naturally, now we have patio lights. I didn't want them because I worried that hanging lights would detract from our waterfront view, and I didn't relish the idea of seeing all of that electrical cording when I looked out. So as part of this project, I did what I could. Purchase Sheryl purchased some patio lights at Costco for $49.99. There are 24 lights spread out among a sturdy 48-foot cord. Our patio cover is 9 feet by 8 feet (34 linear feet) so one strand was enough. Approval Since we live in a townhouse that has condominium ownership, we own the inside of our unit but not the outside. Technically our outdoor patio is "exclusive use common area." So I submitted an architectural variance request to hang the lights. This was approved. Though a few other units had already requested and received approval for lights, the Design Review Committee used my request as an opportunity to publish its rules for patio accent lights. Hanging I hung the lights so that the cords (that I didn't want to see) were hidden by the support structure yet Sheryl could see the lights. Enlarge My original plan was to use large staples to attach the cord to the siding; however, the instructions recommended against that. (Yes, I read the instructions.) Each socket had a small hole which was perfect for hanging. I was able to install 1?" screws and then slip the rubber socket over the screw. That made is easy. I did use a few staples to hold excess cording in place, though. Painting To make the cording not so noticeable, I painted it to match the siding. I didn't paint the sockets themselves as that would have been trickier and possibly would chip over time. Enlarge Finishing Though I had a long enough strand to plug into the socket and still circumscribe the patio (14 extra feet), I didn't want the lights running up the side of the wall from the outlet to the ceiling. I used an extension cord instead. To hide the extension cord that supplied power, I placed a strip of wood along the trim. Enlarge So all's well that ends well, I guess. So Sheryl won this one. I guess that's one small step backward for man, one giant leap forward for mankind. It's like they always say: "Happy wife, happy life." Patio lights are alive in the lab.

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